i've been lazy

lol this post is gonna start out like every other one " i haven't posted a blog in a while cuz i've been lazy " . and i think i've ignored this blog enough that THEY don't even bother to check anymore . so i can finally let it ALL out . i'm losing some of my closest friends . it's noone's fault... we're just not as in touch anymore. and boys... ha ! where to start . not looking... but they come & go . i found myself being insanely picky nowadays . ok maybe that's not the right word ... more like... scared . i find the " nice guy " and i like him, but i end up pushing him away. there's ALWAYS something wrong with someone... and i look for that something so i can have an excuse to not be with them . Too boring, not goodlooking enough, tries to hard to please me, talks weirdly ... SOMETHING . it's annoying . but i can't do anything about it ... because at the time when i make that decision, it makes sense . only after do i realize that i'm being stupid again . and then from time to time i find myself thinking about HIM again... why ? and this guy ... *****... haha ... JERK . but i'm so attracted . INSANELY attracted to him . don't know why because i hate him with every fiber of my being . doesn't that just seem weird ? i don't know . WELL ! anyway enough of the complaining ! last night was the summer concert for VRMA . i had fun (: ! the girls and guys were really nice . the kids were... well some were cute some were annoying . but what can i say ? they're kids ! i swear i messed up ! stairway to heaven... beautiful song . just not so beautiful when i'm the one playing it (x . but it was nice to have my wonderful "husband" and precious "son" watching and supporting me.... each with a dish of food in their hands.... LOL ... ahh and my *lovely* "son" hanson took a stupid picture of me.... so i beat him with a rose... that he gave me (x . lol good times....... my feet hurt by the end of the day . but it was worth it . a good day of singing and music (: !