happy 200th birthday cornelia connelly !

today . was . fucking . awesome . haha . LOTS of food . taking pictures . freaking out teachers . messing with maddie . short classes . AWESOME . today started out with learning & whatnot . pretty boring . but very short classes ! & then we had mass... maddie was ignoring me so i kicked her & pulled out strands of her hair until she turned around . and then, we had lunch . ohhhh wow ! haha ashley is freakin adorable - but so is Mr. Marshall -- the history teacher . yum . he was in the history department & of course, we were eating right in front . ashley felt like saying hi . and well that's not the weird part . what's weird is she was going to take a picture of him . so i yelled "MR.MARSHALL" & he stuck his head out the door . but he decided to ignore us . ashley, being as stupid as she is... starts saying "i LOVE history ! it's like my FAVORITE subject . it's just SO interesting ." Mr. Marshall got very annoyed of course . and slammed the door on us . (x stupid ashley . after lunch, we just hung out . ashley tried to take a picture of Mr. Marshall again & well this time he kinda saw her trying to . haha poor ashley . he probably thinks she's a total freak now . haha . then we were messing around , and someone left a plate of...just icing on the ground and well... maddie stepped in it ! poor fool ! very fun day . later i'm off to open house !

shopping .

i think everyone knows about my tendency to shop . especially when i'm sad . it gets my mind off of things . but today i actually feel BETTER after shopping . hooray for me . shopping with my friends is the best ! spending money, hanging out, shit talking . always fun .

now i'm losing it .

ugh ! i don't know what can be held accountable for my sudden mood swings . fuck . i'm just so pissed off right now . i had just went and read all my messages before i deleted them for the new year . and well LIES . all LIES . he said he was "insanely in love with me" ?!!? bullshit . i don't buy it anymore . what-fucking-ever . i guess falling out of love with me is just as easy as falling IN love with me . ironic isn't it ?

happy fucking new year

ugh . a new year , a new start . gotta get on with my life . the past three days have been spent sulking . mourning really . but it's time to stop all that . i've isolated myself from the rest of the world for quite enough . my eyes are bloodshot from trying to distract myself with excessive reading . and well...i gotta stop eating junk . sleeping the day away doesn't solve anything either . who cares if HE doesn't love me . i don't need it . thinking about it just makes things worse . it doesn't matter that i've been played . all that matters is that i know how to get up & dust myself off . of course i'm still sad...& of course i still CARE , but i'm just gonna ignore it . i don't need to let it interfere with my life . it's my fault anyway i ALLOWED this to happen . new year, new guys, new life, new attitude .